Baby makes three-changing family dynamics

When you bring your newborn home, it should be one of the most joyous times of your life. However, truth be told it can be one of the most stressful times as well. Any time that a new family member is thrown into the mix, family dynamics change drastically and it takes time and patience for a family to adjust to that change.

Bringing home a newborn is no different. New moms have to devote most of their waking hours to infant care. They are extremely tired during the day and at night. There are 2 am feedings to consider. When they finally get to bed, they are exhausted and ready to catch a few hours sleep. Cuddle time with hubby is totally out of the question.

Due to this husbands and fathers may feel totally left out of the picture. This may cause a lot of stress and strain in the household. Men may act sulky or pouty. They can even regress or act like spoiled children. They feel that they have totally lost their spot in the pecking order in the household to a small bundle of kicking, screaming, poop creating, little human.

New moms may feel that they are working 24 hours a day and may resent the fact that their husbands do not pitch in and help them any more than they do. They may feel that they are carrying all of the load when caring for their infant and not getting anything more than grief from their husband for not paying more attention to him. Truth be told, she may not have anything left to give him.

Caring for a new infant can be very exhausting and time consuming. It can take both parents working very hard to make sure that an infant is cared for correctly. This is something that most parents are not well prepared for. It is also something that is very hard to try to explain to new parents. However there are some things that they can do to relieve some of the stress and strain of parenting.

The first rule of thumb is to agree to talk over anything that is bothering either parent so that things do not fester inside them. Second plan some alone time for mom and dad. Allow grandparents to take care of the new baby and get out for a few hours at least once a week. This helps keep marriages from having issues and allows couples some time to be close and be a wife or husband again, not just a parent.

Organize household chores and divide them up so that moms and dads have equal amounts of chores to do while there is so much stress on mom and a new infant at home.

Ask family and friends to prepare meals and freeze them ahead of time for easy preparation. This is something they can do and will help out tremendously. Any man can microwave a casserole. Purchase paper plates and things that you can dispose of later instead of having to wash so many dishes until you have had time to get rested.

Allow some time for everyone to adjust. Given time you will adjust and things will settle down. The first month is the hardest with a newborn. Patience and understanding is the key here for everyone in this situation. Know that this stressful time is temporary Talk out any issues that you might have and share responsibilities. Given that and the suggestions above, and you will be well on your way to having a much easier transition to parenthood!

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November 4, 2008 | Filed Under Baby development